Being Competitive Can Make or Break You
I am almost embarrassed to admit how competitive I am sometimes. I struggle with being a sore loser and I am amazed by anyone who can lose and then shrug it off. If you’re not a competitive person, please know that I envy you. Don’t get me wrong, being competitive has its perks. I’m never low on motivation since just the thought of someone else working harder than me is all I need to go the extra mile. But it’s definitely been a journey to learn how to deal with it in a healthy way.
My competitive nature as a child grew into an untamed beast by the time I reached college. In an attempt to “motivate” myself, I would bad talk myself anytime I did something less than perfect. I was so hard on myself every time I messed up, I became afraid to even try. It led to unhealthy comparisons, rising anxiety and a fear of almost everything. I would get so nervous for any type of “big event”, whether it was a test, a skating performance, singing, etc., I would struggle to fall asleep for a whole week beforehand. Eventually, my increasing anxiety told me everything I needed to know: I can’t keep comparing myself to everyone else.
This past year, I have made it a goal to be less than perfect. For example, I participated in my first ever triathlon this year. And guess what? In the bike, I placed 286th of 292 participants. While it does hurt to admit this, I’m not dwelling on it. A year ago, I wouldn’t have even participated in fear of that placement. But this year, I did it and I actually enjoyed it. It was a relief knowing that I had given myself permission to come in last.
I now make a conscious effort to take myself less serious and to be okay with messing up. Instead of judging how I did compared to someone else (or worse: based off an image of perfection), I base it off of my past. Did I improve? Did I learn a new lesson? And while I might not be entirely happy with it, I still pat myself on the back for the progress I made.
From how much we earn, to the cars we drive and the vacations we take, it’s so easy to compare and compete with everyone around us. But honestly, what’s the point of spending our few precious days on this earth trying to make someone else think we’re a big deal? The truth is, there’s enough room on this planet for everyone to shine.
I will leave you with my final thoughts on the matter:
Push yourself to be better but don’t compare yourself.
So, have I cured myself of the unhealthy side of my competitive nature? I’d like to think so but I know I still have sore spots that are hard for me. For example, all you have to do is ask me how many times my fiancé Bryan has beat me in “Words with Friends” and you’ll see what I mean. Which, by the way, I’m definitely convinced he cheats so…actually, ya know what? Just don’t ask. It’s really none of your business.
(…it’s a work in progress.)
Heather Brockell is a Web Designer and Copywriter based out of North Dakota, USA. When she isn’t designing websites or writing, she performs as a professional figure skater and singer in ice shows all around the country.
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