Make Them Tell You No
I used to be someone who took everything WAY too seriously.
8 year-old Heather: “Tomorrow in class, we have to dress up in blue? I WILL OUT BLUE EVERYONE.” *shows up in head to toe blue, including face paint.*
Because I took everything seriously, I took everything personally. If I failed, it was a big deal and I had a hard time getting over it. To compensate, I would only do things that guaranteed a fairly positive outcome and this affected nearly every area of my life. I was the definition of someone who “played it safe” until one particular day when I learned an important lesson.
When I transferred to the University of Minnesota, I had my eye on a team that I really wanted to be on: their hockey cheerleading team. It was a very competitive team to get on and figure skaters from all over the area came to try out. I watched promo videos and dreamed of what it would be like to make it. But the more I watched, the more convinced I was that I wasn’t good enough...or pretty enough, or skinny enough..blah, blah, blah, the list goes on. As tryouts loomed closer, I finally decided I’d rather have them turn me down then have the regret not trying at all. With only 2 days left, I signed up for tryouts and made the 8 hour drive to Minneapolis.
Once tryouts started, I watched all the beautiful skaters trying out alongside me and knew I wouldn’t make it. I almost cringed whenever it was my turn to skate, dance or cheer; but I glued a smile to my face, did the best I could and tried to ignore my growing insecurities. After 2 of the most physically and mentally draining days you could imagine, I approached the doors of the arena and saw a single sheet of paper taped to the front. I scanned the paper and froze. There, in all its’ glory, was the roster for the upcoming season with only 10 names listed - and mine was one of them. I was speechless. I kept thinking, “My name is Heather Brockell, right?”
I’ve since realized how often I tell myself “no” to opportunities I haven’t even given a chance. I tend to take failure so seriously, but at the end of the day, many of those set backs are not nearly as monumental as they feel in the moment. It’s helpful for me to think of success and failure like a game of poker: no matter the hand I’ve been dealt, I leave it up to the other person to fold or call my bluff because it is never my job to decide whether or not I’m good enough. It’s my job to show what I have to offer and then let the pieces fall where they may. If I have a terrible hand, my bluff may be called and I’ll lose. But there’s always another hand to be dealt and another game to be played. And before I know it, that painful failure will be nothing more than a fleeting memory.
So the next time you have a job interview, a meeting with a potential client or something similar, show them what you know and dare them to tell you no. Who knows, you could be exactly what they’re looking for! But you will never know if you don’t put yourself out there. So forget the advice, forget what the “experts” forecast for you and just go for it. If you need to, you can always change directions if someone tells you no - just don’t ever let that person be you.
Heather Brockell is a Web Designer and Copywriter based out of North Dakota, USA. When she isn’t designing websites or writing, she performs as a professional figure skater and singer in ice shows all around the country.
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