The Lies We're Told About Setting Goals
Have you ever tried to complete a goal and failed miserably so you gave up and decided it wasn’t for you? Oh wait…is that just me? Oh. Well, this is embarrassing. Well, since we are on the cusp of New Years resolutions, I might as well continue.
I was the world’s worst (best?) procrastinator. I was terrible about using my time, was late everywhere I went and I blamed it on me just being a “creative person”. It wasn’t my fault, it was just in my genes! …right? I would try to manage my time better but the harder I tried, the worse it got and I eventually just accepted that I was a late, procrastinating human and hoped that others would eventually learn to love me despite my flaws.
Fast forward 2 years and you would never guess that about me. Well, maybe if you saw how slow I am in the mornings you would, but if you’re one of my clients, you would never guess the struggle I’ve gone through to stick to my deadlines. I’m intense about the deadlines I set and even if that means I have to stay up until 5:00 AM to get something done for my client, I will do it. So how did I go from being an always-late-procrastinator to now being a usually-on-time-human? (Hey, no one’s perfect.) I've learned 2 important lessons:
The lies We’re told about setting goals
The importance of understanding time management
Lesson #1 - The Lies We’re Told About Setting Goals
Here’s a famous quote I see quite a bit:
“If you want it bad enough, you’ll find the time.”
While there is some truth to that, it is not the end-all-be-all of defining our priorities. Rather, I think the way we spend our time defines our habits and not necessarily our priorities. It should define our priorities but we sometimes forget what is important and fall into living on the road of least resistance instead. It is crucial to take a few minutes every now and then to evaluate our habits and compare them to our priorities. Do they line up?
If your habits don’t line up with your priorities, this is when achieving goals starts to get difficult. As humans, we are hardwired to live within our habits which is why changing them is so difficult. The biggest lie we’re told about setting goals is that if you don’t immediately accomplish it, you don’t want it bad enough. Which, to me, translates to, “You clearly don’t have what it takes - stop trying and do something else.” If you have ever felt this way, please know that I say this with love: that idea is absolute trash. To complete a goal, we have to create new habits and stick to them. By doing this, we are working against years of built up bad habits so it should be no surprise if we don’t get it right the first time around!
The key to creating new habits is little, consistent changes. Let’s look at one of the most common New Years resolutions - losing weight. I would never recommend starting January 1 with a diet plan that deviates 100% from your current routine. Changing habits is hard, so it’s important to keep the long-term in mind and tweak them little by little. Start with one thing - remove soda from your diet, prepare a healthy breakfast each day, etc. Once that one thing is a new habit, take on the next bad habit and keep at it until that one is changed. It’s also important to work with yourself and find habit changes that work for you.
For me, my bad habit was hitting snooze a million times in the morning. In the past, I would set my alarm 2 hours early so I could get up, be productive and mark something off my list before my day officially started. However, once that alarm started going off, I would hit snooze over and over until I only had enough time to brush my teeth and rush out the door.
I’ve learned that if I have the option to not get out of bed, I will take that option 100% of the time - so I don’t fight it. Now, if I want to get a little extra something done, I stay up later and do it that night. Then I set my alarm for the next morning with the exact amount of time I need to get out of bed, brush my teeth, put clothes on and head out the door. That may not work for everyone, but it works for me and I’ve since gotten rid of my nasty, 2 hour alarm clock wake up call. This habit change is one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.
“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
- Albert Einstein
Lesson #2 - The Importance of Understanding Time Management
Once I began to evaluate my poor time management more, I came across 2 clear issues:
I am a perfectionist
I grossly underestimate how long something takes to complete
#1 - I am a perfectionist and need everything I do to be nothing short of perfect. SPOILER: this is not possible. I was setting myself up for failure every single day by having impossible expectations. The first thing I needed to do was accept that sometimes my work would be less than great and I should be okay with this.
#2 - I’m a bad judge at evaluating how much time it takes to complete tasks. When I plan what I need to get done for the day, I need to remember that I have a limited amount of hours in my day. I was easily planning 20 hours worth of work for myself each day but let’s consider this:
8 hours - Sleeping (in a perfect world…)
1 hour - Showering/Getting ready
2 hours - Eating/Cooking
1 hour - Working Out
That only leaves 12 hours to complete 20 hours worth of work. This doesn’t even consider spending time with friends, going out to eat, watching tv or just relaxing. No wonder I was frustrated… This is where the importance of understanding time management really came into play.
The secret to understanding time management? Priorities. Each day, I write out my 3 highest priorities that I need to do that day. Not 6 or 7…3. Doing this forces me to analyze my to-do list and cut out whatever isn’t my biggest priority. This has significantly decreased my procrastination because I no longer put off completing important, yet dreaded tasks by wasting my time on easier but less important ones. I pick the hardest thing I have to get done each day and I do it first. Being productive is all about working smarter, not harder.
New habits take time! It’s a process to figure out what works for you. If you don’t immediately succeed at accomplishing a goal, don't just blame lack of self-control. There was a reason you didn’t succeed so figure out why! Write that reason down, find a new solution and try again. Whatever it is you want to do, keep at it until you achieve it. The best goals to achieve are the hardest to conquer but the fight is always worth it - so keep at it until you have it! You’ve got this.
Do you have any New Years resolutions? Comment below and tell me how you’re going to complete them. I can’t wait to hear about it!
With love,
-Heather
Heather Brockell is a Web Designer and Copywriter based out of North Dakota, USA. When she isn’t designing websites or writing, she performs as a professional figure skater and singer in ice shows all around the country.
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